With the end of the year approaching, we come closer to the dreaded season of New Year’s Resolutions – the season of setting extravagant goals and realising that we’ve given up on them two weeks into the new year. You are most certainly not alone here.
One article claims that up to 92% of people fail to achieve their New Year’s goals. Another article claims that 90% of people give up on their New Year’s resolutions within the first few weeks of the New Year.
This highlights that while setting goals is easy, sticking to them can be challenging. Failing to follow through on resolutions can also severely impact our mood, self-esteem, confidence, and motivation – affecting our commitment to the following year’s resolutions.
This raises the question of how we can ensure we accomplish our goals. Fortunately, many studies on goal setting provide valuable insights. One key finding is that we’re more likely to stick to goals when we have a sense of accountability, especially when it involves other people like your therapist.
In this article, we’ll explore some of the common challenges to setting and pursuing goals, the principles of effective goal setting and how they are applied in individual therapy to improve your chances of achieving your most extravagant personal goals.
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Common Challenges In Setting Effective Goals: Why So Many Fail
Setting goals is often an exciting and hopeful process, but for many, the journey from setting intentions to achieving them can be riddled with obstacles. Despite our best efforts, we often fall short due to various factors that can derail progress and sap motivation. From setting unclear or unrealistic expectations to disruptive habits and lacking a sustainable support system, these common pitfalls can make any goal unmanageable.
Unclear Goals
It's difficult to measure progress or even know where to start when goals are vague or undefined. Goals like "be healthier" or "do better at work" lack specific direction, leaving us uncertain about the actions needed to succeed. On the other hand, clear goals offer a roadmap that helps us identify what success looks like, keeping us focused and motivated along the way.
Unrealistic Goals
We set ourselves up for failure when we set goals that are overly ambitious or beyond our current capabilities. When goals are unrealistic—such as expecting to double our income in a month or completely change a long-standing habit overnight—we may quickly become discouraged when we don’t see immediate results. Setting realistic, achievable goals encourages steady progress and helps build confidence over time.
Fear of Failure
The fear of failure can hold us back from pursuing our goals wholeheartedly. When we fear making mistakes or not reaching our goals, we may avoid taking necessary risks or stop trying altogether. This fear can lead to self-sabotage or hesitation, keeping us from moving forward. Learning to embrace failure as a natural part of growth can help us overcome this obstacle.
Being Overwhelmed
Big goals can seem daunting and overwhelming. Trying to tackle too much at once can lead to a quick burnout that ends in us abandoning our goals. Breaking down goals into smaller, achievable tasks can make the process more manageable and build momentum as we accomplish each step.
Procrastination
Procrastination is one of the biggest obstacles to goal achievement. Putting off tasks or delaying action can prevent us from progressing and lead to guilt and frustration. Procrastination often stems from a fear of failure, perfectionism, or being overwhelmed. Creating a realistic action plan and holding ourselves accountable can help counter this tendency.
Lack of Commitment
Achieving any meaningful goal requires a level of commitment that goes beyond initial enthusiasm. When we lack true commitment, it’s easy to give up as soon as challenges arise or when motivation wanes. Commitment involves consistently prioritizing and working toward the goal, even when it becomes difficult or inconvenient.
Lack of Motivation
Motivation is the driving force that pushes us to take action and is essential for long-term success. Without motivation, it is easy to lose interest and abandon our goals. Motivation can waver over time, especially if we’re not reminded of why we set the goal in the first place. Cultivating intrinsic motivation helps sustain our efforts – i.e. determining why the goal is so meaningful to you.
Lack of Support
Support from others can provide encouragement, accountability, and guidance. Without a support system, achieving goals can feel lonely and overwhelming. Having people who can offer constructive feedback, celebrate small victories with you, or provide comfort during difficult times can make a significant difference in our ability to stay committed and resilient.
Understanding these barriers is the first step to creating strategies that help us stay on track and succeed. The primary role of therapy is to support you in defining clear and achievable goals and overcoming any obstacles you may have.
Principles of Setting Effective Goals: SMART Goals
Setting goals is an important step toward achieving personal and professional growth. However, not all goals are created equal. To be effective, goals need to be clearly defined, realistic, and actionable.
We first need to distinguish between short-term and long-term goals. Short-term goals are the stepping stones to our larger ambitions. These goals are objectives set to be achieved in the near future – typically within a few weeks, months, or a year. Short-term goals are specific and actionable, designed to drive immediate progress. This might include improving time management, enhancing skills, or expanding your network.
On the other hand, long-term goals reflect our vision for the future, outlining where we hope to be in several years. These goals are broader and less detailed than short-term goals, requiring patience, persistence, and strategic planning. Examples include career advancement, financial independence, or publishing a book.
One widely accepted approach to short-term and long-term goals is the SMART framework, which stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
Specific
A goal needs to be specific and clearly defined. Vague goals can lead to confusion and a lack of direction, while specific goals provide clarity and focus.
When setting a goal, ask yourself questions like:
What exactly do I want to achieve?
Why is this goal important?
Who is involved?
Where will this goal take place?
How urgent is this goal and what is my timeline?
By answering these goal-specifying questions, you create a detailed objective that guides your actions.
Example: Instead of saying "I want to feel healthier", a specific goal would be, "I want to exercise for at least 30 minutes for at least three days a week."
Measurable
Your goal needs to be measurable so that you can track your progress. Measurement allows you to identify milestones, celebrate small wins, and stay motivated. Adding concrete criteria, such as numbers or objective details, can help you determine whether you're on track or need to adjust your approach.
Example: Instead of saying "I want to read more", a measurable goal would be "I want to read four books by the end of the year by reading one book every three months at a pace of three chapters a day.”
Achievable
Goals should be realistic and attainable. Setting an achievable goal doesn’t mean it has to be easy. Rather, it should stretch your abilities while remaining possible. Consider your resources, time, and current skill level. Setting goals that are too ambitious can lead to frustration, while goals that are too easy might lack the challenge needed to stay motivated.
Example: "I want to become fluent in a new language in two months" may not be realistic for most people, but "I want to complete an introductory language course and hold a basic conversation in six months" is more achievable.
Relevant
Goals should align with your broader life purpose, values, and long-term objectives. Setting relevant goals ensures that you are working toward something meaningful and worthwhile. This also helps you prioritize and focus on what truly matters, avoiding goals that might seem like a waste of time or a distraction.
Example: If your long-term goal is to advance in your career, a relevant short-term goal could be "I want to complete a professional certification program in my field by the end of the year and be ready to apply for the senior role the following year."
Timebound
Every goal needs a deadline. A timeline creates urgency and helps prevent procrastination - allowing you to stay motivated and on track. Time-bound goals also allow you to break down larger tasks into smaller steps and track progress over time.
Example: "I want to save $5,000" becomes "I want to have saved $5,000 at the end of the year by setting aside $200 a week." With a set deadline, you have a clear plan and time frame for reaching your goal.
When combined, the SMART framework creates goals that are clear, comprehensive, actionable, and sustainable. Additionally, this framework gives you a clear path forward and increases your chances of long-term success.
The Journey of Effective Goal Setting In Individual Therapy
At Hirsch Therapy, we like to see the entire experience of pursuing goals like a journey – an exciting personal adventure. Like any journey undertaken, we need to know why we are going somewhere, what the destination is, how to get there, and how to ensure we get there in one piece. The advantage of setting goals with your therapist is akin to creating an itinerary with a travel consultant or your favourite travel influencer/vlogger – you have a better and more informed idea of the journey; you get expert guidance; and you avoid many of the potholes.
(NO TOURIST TRAPS AND ONLY THE GOOD STUFF FOR YOU!)
Here is what your journey with your therapist would look like…
Know Your "Why": Exploring Motives, Hopes, And Dreams To Create A Vision
Every plan to travel begins with a reason – be it for business, relaxation, adventure, or good eats. Similarly, the first step in working with a therapist on goal setting is to clarify your “why.” This involves diving into your deeper motives, hopes, and dreams to create a more concrete vision of what you want your life to look like. A lot of people come into therapy with statements such as, “I just want to be happy”, “I feel stuck” or “I’m tired of just going through the motions.” These statements are vague but express deep feelings that are important to connect to and work with in therapy. Just saying these feelings out loud can kickstart a process of healing, change, and growth.
Together with your therapist, you can explore questions like, “What drives you?” and “What would success mean to you?” In therapy, you will get the chance to understand your needs and motivations that draw you to your goals and develop a vision of how you want your life to look. Through this discussion, you will also be able to narrow down your focus on what actions are required to make your goals a reality. This in turn will help you to craft an effective goal statement.
This stage helps transform vague statements into specific goals and ensures they align with your values and aspirations. Doing so gives your goals a foundation of meaning and motivation to carry you forward.
Determining The Destination: Identifying The Goal
Once you know why you need to travel, you will want to determine where you’re travelling to. In therapy, that would refer to determining your specific goals. Using the SMART Goals approach, your therapist will guide you in crafting a goal statement that is specific and clear, easily measurable, achievable and realistic, relevant and aligned with your vision, and set according to your required timeline. Together, you’ll work on turning abstract desires into concrete objectives, so you can visualize the destination you’re heading toward. This clarity will help focus your energy and resources on what truly matters.
Plotting Out The Journey: Identifying A Starting Point and Pitstops
Every journey involves a starting point, an ending point, and the line in between. And, if the journey is too long, we might want to include pitstops to rest or soak in the views.
When it comes to goals, determining where you are starting from requires a certain degree of self-awareness and an honest look at yourself. The therapeutic setting offers a safe and judgement-free space where you open yourself to that level of self-assessment.
Big goals are great but they can also feel very daunting and overwhelming. Your therapist can help you break them down into smaller, more manageable steps. This process involves identifying milestones and smaller objectives that build up to your main goal. This plan outlines what specific steps you’ll take, along with a realistic timeline for each step. Your therapist can help you identify resources, set achievable deadlines, and establish routines that support your goal. This step-by-step plan serves as a roadmap, keeping you focused and organized as you work toward your goal.
Together, you’ll choose a realistic starting point that feels doable, allowing you to build confidence and momentum right from the beginning. This step helps make the journey less daunting and gives you a clear path forward.
Embarking On Your Journey: Moving Forward
With a solid travel plan, you can move forward, one step at a time. Every journey has its challenges, so it is important to stay on track without losing sight of your destination.
Your therapist can support you in staying accountable to your goal and address any obstacles that arise along the way. This process builds resilience, strengthens your commitment, and helps you develop positive habits as you make steady progress. It’s not about perfection; it’s about consistent and meaningful steps toward your goal.
Having concrete outcome measures in place will help you and your therapist keep track of your progress, helping you see how far you’ve come and maintain momentum. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes your path will need to change. Therapy provides a space to address unexpected challenges and manage shifting priorities, allowing you to adapt your plan.
With your therapist, you can reflect on what’s working and what is not, adjusting your travel plans as needed. This process can be motivating and empowering - showing that your efforts are paying off. It also provides valuable insights, helping you and your therapist refine your strategies as you move forward.
Celebrating Small Wins: Keeping Yourself Going
It can be extremely demoralising to face setbacks on any journey. On the journey of self-development and improving our lives, we can be easily tempted to compare ourselves to others or overfocus on our losses. These instances can highlight how far behind we are and remind us of what a daunting challenge our journey is. In these moments, it's crucial to remind yourself that you are on your own path and to acknowledge the progress you have made. Everyone has a unique starting point and their own battles to fight—there may be challenges you simply don’t see.
Allow yourself to celebrate every small win you come across. If you can’t find any, you are not looking hard enough! These moments of progress, no matter how small, can be powerful motivators, reminding you that you’re capable and resilient. Your therapist will encourage and remind you to celebrate these achievements, reinforcing your self-confidence and helping you stay positive as you work toward your larger goal.
In Conclusion
Setting effective goals is a powerful step toward creating the life you envision, but it’s only the beginning of the journey. Working with a therapist can transform your approach to pursuing goals, offering not just a roadmap, but also the tools, support, and insight needed to stay on course.
In therapy, you’re not alone on the journey – you have a professional ally who helps you gain clarity, sustain motivation, overcome obstacles, and adapt as needed. With each session, you will build self-awareness, resilience, and confidence, turning setbacks into learning experiences and small wins into stepping stones. This process doesn’t just move you closer to your goals; it strengthens your sense of empowerment and ownership over your life.
By combining intentional goal-setting with therapeutic support, you create a foundation for lasting change. Whether it's aiming to advance in your career, strengthen relationships, or improve your well-being, therapy can be the catalyst that makes your goals not just achievable but deeply fulfilling.
But of course, if you need additional support, we are here for you!
If you are struggling with setting effective goals and sticking to them,
please do not hesitate to contact us. We are happy to support your journey in any way we can.
We offer a 15-minute free online consultation as a risk-free opportunity to clarify any uncertainties or concerns you may have. This can also help you see whether you are comfortable working with our therapist in individual therapy sessions.
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