Does Couples Therapy Work? Success Rate of Couples Therapy!

Does Couples Therapy Work?

If you are considering couples therapy, it is very natural to ask whether it actually works. You may be feeling hopeful, uncertain, sceptical, or all of these at once. Many couples come to therapy after trying to manage difficulties on their own for a long time, and it makes sense to want reassurance before taking another step.

To help out, we have an introductory article on couples therapy. It explains what you can expect from couples therapy and how it works. For those that already decided to engage in couples therapy, we have prepared an article on how you can prepare for your first couples therapy session to ensure the session is productive.

Another consideration would be the skillset of the therapist. A skilled therapist would be able to navigate emotionally loaded conversations and ensure they remain productive. See our example on Couples Therapy regarding Infidelity to further understand how a skilled therapist would integrate evidence-based models and tools to ensure the conversations remain productive and safe.

For the rest, read on for more details!

Considerations when Engaging Couples Therapy

The financial cost of regular sessions, the time commitment required to attend and reflect between meetings, and the emotional effort it takes to revisit difficult moments in your relationship. Couples therapy can be emotionally draining at times, especially when it involves acknowledging pain or discomfort that has been long avoided.

At Hirsch Therapy, we understand that this question often comes from care for the relationship, not from doubt or resistance. Wanting to know whether couples therapy works is really about wanting to know whether change, understanding, or relief is possible. Research suggests that couples therapy can lead to meaningful improvements in key areas of relationship satisfaction, communication, emotional intimacy, and partner behaviour — improvements that are typically not seen in couples who do not receive therapy.

What you can get from this article

This article aims to offer clarity, not promises. Couples therapy is not a guarantee, but for many couples, it can be a meaningful and supportive process.

This article aims to provide clarity about what couples therapy is like in practice. While therapy does not offer certainty or quick outcomes, many couples find it to be a supportive and meaningful process that helps them better understand their relationship, shift unhelpful patterns, and decide how they want to move forward together.

What Do We Mean When We Ask “Does Couples Therapy Work?”

This question can sound simple, but it rarely has a simple answer. Whether couples therapy works depends on what “working” means for you, what you are hoping for, and where you and your partner are emotionally when you begin.

For some couples, therapy “working” means repairing trust or reconnecting emotionally. For others, it means learning to communicate with less conflict, or gaining clarity about whether to stay together. Therapy is less about producing a specific outcome and more about helping you understand your relationship patterns, emotional needs, and choices with greater awareness and support.

What Is the Success Rate of Couples Therapy?

Many people look for statistics when deciding whether to begin therapy. Research suggests that a significant number of couples experience improvements in relationship satisfaction after couples therapy. However, these figures vary widely depending on the type of therapy, the concerns being addressed, and how success is measured.

Numbers alone rarely tell the full story. They cannot capture shifts such as feeling safer to speak openly, understanding your partner’s inner experience more clearly, or learning how to respond differently during moments of tension. These changes often matter just as much as measurable outcomes, and they tend to unfold over time.

What Does “Success” Actually Mean in Couples Therapy?

When people ask whether couples therapy works, they are often really asking a deeper question: What does success actually look like? The answer is more nuanced than simply whether a couple stays together.

Research Settings (Theory)

In research settings, success in couples therapy is often measured through areas such as relationship satisfaction, communication quality, emotional closeness, and the ability to navigate conflict more constructively. Studies have found that many couples who complete therapy report greater warmth, support, and understanding in their relationship, along with fewer recurring conflicts, even months or years after therapy has begun. These findings reflect meaningful shifts in how partners relate to one another, not just temporary improvements.

Practical Applications

In lived experience, however, success is not limited to metrics or outcomes on paper. For many couples, success looks like being able to speak honestly without fear of escalation, feeling emotionally heard for the first time in a long while, or understanding why the same arguments keep repeating. It may involve recognising long standing patterns of defensiveness, withdrawal, or misunderstanding, and learning how to respond differently when those patterns arise.

Conclusion

Importantly, success in couples therapy does not always mean staying together. Some couples come to therapy uncertain about the future of their relationship. Through the process, they may gain clarity about whether continuing together is possible or healthy. In these cases, success may involve making thoughtful, emotionally informed decisions rather than reacting from anger, fear, or exhaustion. For others, it may mean navigating separation or divorce with greater respect, less conflict, and a clearer focus on co parenting or mutual care.

For many couples, success includes:

• Communicating with less defensiveness and more understanding

• Feeling emotionally acknowledged rather than dismissed or misunderstood

• Reducing recurring conflict or emotional distance

• Gaining insight into patterns that have shaped the relationship over time

• Making decisions with clarity rather than urgency or resentment

Therapy honours that each couple defines success for themselves. There is no single outcome that determines whether the process has value. What matters most is whether therapy helps you understand your relationship more deeply, relate with greater awareness and care, and move forward in a way that feels aligned with your values and emotional wellbeing.

This perspective allows couples therapy to be not a test of whether a relationship passes or fails, but a supportive space for insight, honesty, and intentional choice.

When Is Couples Therapy Most Effective?

Couples therapy tends to be most effective when both partners are willing to engage with the process, even if they feel uncertain, tired, or emotionally distant at the start. Effectiveness is not about doing therapy “perfectly” or agreeing on everything. Rather, it is about a shared willingness to pause, reflect, and stay present with difficult conversations.

Research suggests that outcomes are stronger when both partners see therapy as a joint process rather than a place to convince the therapist that one person is right and the other is wrong. When each partner is open to examining their own reactions, assumptions, and emotional patterns, therapy becomes a space for insight and growth rather than debate. This does not mean taking blame. It means recognising how each person contributes to the dynamic, often in ways shaped by stress, past experiences, or unmet needs.

Early intervention

Timing can also play a role. Couples who seek support earlier, before patterns of resentment or emotional distance become deeply entrenched, often find it easier to make changes. That said, many couples begin therapy during periods of high distress, after years of struggle or repeated attempts to manage on their own. Therapy can still be meaningful at this stage. In fact, when conflict feels overwhelming or communication has broken down, the structured and supportive environment of therapy can help slow things down and create safety where very little exists outside the room.

Honesty and transparency

Honesty is another key factor. Couples therapy is most helpful when both partners are able to speak openly about what is happening, including feelings that may be uncomfortable or difficult to admit. This might include acknowledging emotional withdrawal, lingering hurt, doubts about the future, or fears of being misunderstood. When therapy becomes a place where these experiences can be explored without judgement, deeper understanding and connection become possible.

Diligently practicing between sessions

Engagement between sessions also supports effectiveness. Therapy does not end when the session ends. Many couples benefit from noticing patterns in daily life, practicing new ways of communicating, or reflecting on emotional reactions between sessions. These moments are not about getting things right, but about becoming more aware of how interactions unfold in real time. Bringing these observations back into therapy allows the work to stay grounded in lived experience rather than abstract discussion.

Both partners are actively engaged

Most importantly, couples therapy is often effective when there is a shared intention to engage, even if the outcome is unclear. Some couples enter therapy hoping to strengthen and continue their relationship. Others seek clarity about difficult decisions. Both intentions are valid. What supports effectiveness is not certainty about the destination, but a willingness to explore the journey together, with support, honesty, and care.

This perspective helps shift the question from “Will therapy work for us?” to “Are we willing to engage with what is happening between us, with guidance and support?” For many couples, that shift alone creates space for meaningful change.

Does Couples Therapy Work for All Types of Couples?

Couples therapy can support a wide range of relationships, including long term partnerships, newer relationships, and couples navigating specific challenges such as infidelity, parenting stress, or major life transitions. It can be helpful for:

• Married and unmarried couples

• Long term partnerships and newer relationships

• Couples from diverse racial, cultural, and economic backgrounds

• Couples with low incomes who may be navigating added stress

• Couples experiencing mild to moderate relationship difficulties

• Couples facing major life transitions such as relocation or parenthood

• Couples navigating challenges like infidelity, trust issues, or parenting stress

That said, therapy is not one size fits all. Each couple brings their own history, values, and emotional dynamics. Therapy works best when it is tailored to your specific context and when both partners feel respected and included in the process. A good therapeutic fit matters, and it is appropriate to take time to find an approach that feels supportive for you.

What Are the Different Types of Couples Therapy?

Couples therapy is provided by licensed mental health professionals with specialised training in relationship science and family systems. Over time, several evidence based approaches have been developed to support couples in different ways.

Emotionally Focussed Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Therapy focuses on emotional connection and attachment. It helps partners understand their emotional needs and respond to each other with greater care and security. This approach can be especially helpful for couples who feel emotionally distant or disconnected.

Behavioural Couples Therapy 

Behavioral Couples Therapy focuses on communication patterns and everyday interactions. It supports couples in changing specific behaviours, managing conflict more effectively, and increasing positive experiences in the relationship.

Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy 

Cognitive Behavioral Couples Therapy explores how thoughts, emotions, and behaviours influence the relationship. It helps partners recognise unhelpful thinking patterns and develop more supportive ways of relating.

Couples therapy has evolved into a well established intervention supported by decades of research. Many therapists are trained in multiple approaches (such as the Gottman method) and adapt their work to the needs of each couple. While the therapeutic approach matters, the quality of the therapeutic relationship and how well the work fits your unique situation are just as important.

What Factors Influence Whether Couples Therapy Works?

Several factors can shape the therapy process:

• The therapeutic relationship and sense of emotional safety

• Each partner’s readiness to reflect and participate

• The ability to speak honestly while remaining respectful

• Consistency and pacing of sessions

• Willingness to notice patterns between sessions

Therapy is a partnership. Progress often comes from small shifts practiced over time, rather than dramatic breakthroughs.

What Is the Downside of Couples Therapy?

Emotional and Time Investment

Couples therapy can be emotionally and practically demanding. Talking openly about sensitive topics often brings discomfort, sadness, or frustration to the surface. This does not mean therapy is failing. It usually means important experiences are being acknowledged rather than avoided, which can feel challenging before it feels relieving.

Financial Investment

There are also practical considerations. Couples therapy involves a financial and time commitment, with sessions typically held weekly over several months. For some couples, balancing therapy with work, family, or other responsibilities can feel demanding, especially during stressful periods.

Requires both partners to actively engage

Therapy also works best when both partners are willing to participate. When one partner is disengaged or attending reluctantly, progress may feel slower. In some situations, individual therapy alongside couples work may be helpful, particularly when concerns such as anxiety, depression, or burnout are present.

Painful and difficult conversations

At times, therapy may bring clarity to differences that are difficult to reconcile. While this can be painful, it is not a failure of the process. Gaining clarity, even when it leads to difficult decisions, can support more thoughtful and compassionate outcomes. A skilled therapist helps pace these conversations so they remain supportive and manageable rather than overwhelming.

This perspective allows couples to approach therapy with realistic expectations, understanding both its potential and its limitations.

What Percentage of Couples Stay Together After Counselling?

It’s natural to wonder whether couples therapy “works” in terms of staying together, but survival alone does not define success. Research shows that individuals who participate in couples therapy are better off at the end of treatment than 70–80% of those who do not, regardless of whether the relationship continues.

Some couples remain together with stronger connection, improved communication, and renewed emotional closeness. Others may choose to separate, but even then, therapy often supports healthier co-parenting, reduced conflict, and greater personal insight. Both outcomes can be considered successful, depending on the couple’s needs and goals.

The aim of couples therapy is not always to preserve the relationship. It is to help partners make informed decisions, communicate more effectively, manage emotions constructively, and—if they choose to stay together—build a healthier partnership. Therapy can support rebuilding trust after infidelity, addressing emotional withdrawal, or navigating sexual and intimacy concerns.

What Couples Often Gain Regardless of Outcome

Even when separation occurs, the skills learned—active listening, emotional regulation, problem-solving, and self-awareness—carry forward into future relationships and other areas of life. Couples who actively engage in therapy often notice lasting improvements in communication, emotional understanding, and mutual respect.

At Hirsch Therapy, we emphasise that meaningful change is more about willingness than duration. Couples who show up with openness and curiosity, even after years of repeated arguments, can experience transformation. Couples therapy provides a structured space to explore challenges safely, gain clarity, and practice new ways of relating. Research confirms that most couples see tangible, lasting benefits—and those benefits can look different for every relationship.

Even when couples do not remain together, therapy can offer meaningful benefits, including:

• Greater emotional awareness

• Improved communication skills

• Reduced blame and reactivity

• Insight into personal and relational patterns

• A stronger sense of self understanding

These gains often support healthier relationships in the future, with partners or within oneself.

How to Know If Couples Therapy Might Be Right for You

Couples therapy may be helpful if you are curious about your patterns, want support navigating difficult conversations, or feel stuck repeating the same conflicts. You do not need to have clear answers before starting. Therapy can be a place to explore uncertainty with care and guidance.

It is also okay to take time to consider your readiness. Beginning therapy is a personal decision, and it should feel like a supportive step rather than an obligation.

Support from Hirsch Therapy

At Hirsch Therapy, we approach couples work as a collaborative and personalised process. We aim to create a safe, non judgmental therapeutic space where both partners feel heard and supported.

If you feel unsure about starting, we offer a 15 minute online consultation to help you ask questions, understand the process, and reflect on whether couples therapy feels right for you at this time.